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A Month Without Coffee

For my first month of The Year of Living Without, I gave up coffee. That was something I thought would be very difficult, given my love for coffee and miserable past attempts.

But I loved it.

That was a huge surprise to me. I had absolutely no difficulty in giving up coffee, not the first day, not the first week, not at all.

They key was having a great replacement habit that I really enjoyed. Instead of focusing on sacrificing the coffee, I focused on drinking a lovely cup of tea each morning. I was grateful to be able to drink such good tea, and so the coffee wasn’t even a concern.

So my first month of Living Without wasn’t that difficult, though I did learn a few things. I’ll share my lessons below, then share my Living Without challenge for August: no sitting for longer than 30 minutes.

Going Without Coffee

Some notes on going without coffee:

  • I fully expected to have withdrawal symptoms, like grogginess and headaches and such. Perhaps it’s because there’s a bit of caffeine in the tea (not high amounts as I brew lightly), but I experienced zero withdrawal signs. I was alert and focused even in the early morning.
  • I really thought I’d have a harder time watching others drink coffee, but it wasn’t difficult at all.
  • The only time I had urges was from the smell of coffee, which is really an amazingly enticing aroma. There aren’t many other smells like it. So Eva would brew some coffee, and of course it’s really good coffee, and it smells great. But the urge wasn’t too strong.
  • The strongest urge came one day when I was eating something that was a bit fatty (stir-fried in olive oil) and a bit spicy (chili powder), and Eva’s coffee was right in front of me, so I could smell it. Apparently the combo of spice and fat and the strong smell of coffee is a very strong trigger for me. The urge lasted for awhile, but I drank water to rinse my mouth of the spice and fat, and walked away from the coffee smell.
  • Another interesting time was in our visit to Portland, where Eva and my friends Jesse and Josh Jacobs wanted to tour some of the best coffee shops. I drove them, and enjoyed the smells of the good coffee at all the great shops, but didn’t drink any. I thought it would be my greatest challenge, but it wasn’t too bad. The smells were great.
  • Other times we visited Blue Bottle Coffee, for Eva, and I would have liked to have gotten a soy Gibraltar (a lovely creamy drink just a bit bigger than a shot glass, not on the menu). But I didn’t, and I was fine.

Notes on Living Without

This Year of Living Without is an experiment, to help me learn about myself, about my urges and desires and the resistance to changing things I think I really need.

All of us resist things we think we can’t live without, but I believe it’s not the truth, that we can live without more than we think, and in doing so we can change just about anything in our lives.

So what have I learned, after only a month? A few things:

  • I thought I would miss coffee more than I did. Often we anticipate more suffering than there actually will be. This has happened to me numerous times — I thought I wouldn’t be able to give up cheese (it was easy) or a car, or meat, or eating junk food or fast food all the time. But those things were all very easy, and each time it was a surprise.
  • Having a great replacement habit makes it much, much easier. When you focus on the sacrifice, you are mentally suffering all the time. But when you focus on the good thing you’re getting instead, it’s wonderful.
  • The urges are temporary, even at their strongest. Most urges weren’t that bad, and while normally we give into our urges, I had no trouble not giving in. Even the strongest urge was just there for a bit, then went away. I sat through the strongest urge, and felt it, and sat in the discomfort, and found it wasn’t horrible. Sitting in discomfort, allowing yourself to feel it, is a great learning experience.
  • Having pre-set limits is a powerful tool to fight urges. Usually we give in to our urges, because there’s nothing stopping us. Have a piece of pizza or a cookie? Why not? But if you set rules, with limits, you can more easily resist the urges — which is a good thing.
  • Having public accountability is also a powerful thing. Having told everyone (including all of you) that I’m not drinking coffee made it much, much more likely that I wouldn’t.

My Tea Habit

This was the best thing about the month without coffee (aside from what I learned about urges). My tea habit was consistent (even during travel), and it’s something I hope to continue.

Some notes on the tea habit (none of the links are affiliate links):

  • Tea is nice in the morning (I was previously mostly an afternoon tea drinker), because it’s light, you don’t feel overbuzzed, and it becomes a mindfulness ritual, noticing the flavors and aromas present in the tea as you pay attention and sip.
  • I also feel healthier drinking tea. The health benefits of coffee can be debated (not sure where I stand, as there are pros and cons), but tea is hard to debate. You feel light and strong at the same time.
  • My favorite morning tea has been the Bai Mudan white tea from Samovar, brewed lightly. It’s a lovely tea early in the morning. I’ve also enjoyed Monkey Picked Iron Goddess of Mercy oolong, and the Breakfast Blend Black Tea. But the lighter white tea is perfect on an empty stomach in the morning.
  • For traveling, I used this brewing basket. It was a nice minimalist setup.
  • Jesse Jacobs of Samovar gave me this fancy automated tea pot as a gift. It’s absolutely fantastic, and though you absolutely don’t need it, if you want to splurge (or delight a friend who loves tea with a great gift), it’s the best tea maker I’ve ever seen.
  • As per Jesse’s recommendation, I like a faster brew with more tea leaves, rather than smaller amounts of tea steeped for a long time (what most people do).
  • Oolong and greens in general are my favorites, though I do love a good white or pu-ehr.

Will I Continue Without Coffee?

This has been a question for me all month long — do I continue to go without coffee after July 31, or should I bring it back?

The honest truth is, I haven’t missed coffee other than an odd occasion where we go somewhere that has amazing coffee. And I’ve really enjoyed the tea in the morning.

However, this article gives me pause and has me wondering if I should include some coffee, when I feel like it.

So here’s what I’ve decided: I’m going to continue to drink tea, not coffee, in the morning. But I’ll allow myself a sip or three (up to half a cup) if there’s really good coffee being brewed at a great coffee shop. I think that’s a good balance.

Next Month: Without Sitting Longer Than 30 Minutes

So for my next challenge in The Year of Living Without, I’m going to go without sitting for longer than 30 minutes.

Here’s what I’ll do:

  • While awake, I won’t sit for longer than 30 minutes — after 30 minutes, I’ll get up for 15 minutes.
  • During the 15-minute break, I’ll do one of these things: yoga, bodyweight exercises, go for a walk, clean, play with the kids, run, drink tea standing up, read standing up, or do a gym workout. I can do other things, but this is what I’m thinking.

I should note that there are a couple of exceptions to this rule: 1) sleeping for longer than 60 minutes is OK, and 2) on an airplane I will just do my best not to sit for longer than 30 minutes (but won’t always be able to stand up for 15 minutes).

Some notes:

  • Yes, I’ve tried a standing desk. I don’t like standing for more than a few hours a day. I’d rather sit when I write.
  • I’m really looking forward to doing the yoga. I have a friend, Toku, who has started creating a new 10-minute yoga routine for me each week. It’s a great mindfulness practice, while also stretching and getting active.
  • I’m doing this because I think sitting too much is killing us (along with sugar and meat and white flower). Keeping sitting in moderation is probably a good idea.

Zen Habits

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Tips for Traveling with Kids
My Grand Travel Experiment
The Parent I Aspire to Be
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The Miracle of Suspending Mis-Belief
7 Strategies for Dealing with Toxic People
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Learning Tips for the Top 8 Learning Challenges
The 30-Day Learning Challenge
The Place Where You Are
Feeling Determined to Change
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Hold Your Own Feet to the Fire
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How to Beat Procrastination with Daily Training
The Time When We’ll Be Present & Content
A Simple, Powerful Self-Compassion Method
When Others Frustrate You
Your Internet Habits Create Your Reality
The Case for Replacing Exercise with Play
Leave Yourself Wanting More
Fail Faster at Habits
The Anti-Bucket List
Getting Started with the Discipline Habit
The Case for Caring About Your Work
Questions of Priority
The Futility of Always Pushing Myself to Be More
Pare Down with the Declutter Habit
You’re Not Doing Life Wrong
Getting Lost in Just Doing
An Addict’s Guide to Overcoming the Distraction Habit
The Source of Contentment
Savor Discipline: Merge the Interests of Your Future & Present Selves
What You Can Say Instead of “I Don’t Feel Like It”
The Things That Get in the Way of Doing
The Girl Who Saw Through the Illusions
A Gradual Approach to Healthy Eating
Unconditional Acceptance of Yourself
My Typical Day: How I Get People to Think I’m Productive
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The Delightfully Short Guide to Reading More Books
In Praise of Limits
The Art of Being My Dad
5 Ideas to Create an Amazing 2015
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Overwhelmed by All the Changes You Want to Make
My 2014 Successes and Failures
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When You’re Lonely
The Brain’s Fast Mode
5 Questions to Simplify Your Life During the Holidays
The Zen Habits Holiday Gift Guide
The Four Hidden Habit Skills
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It’s Not Too Late to Change Bad Habits
The Smart Way to Stick to Habits
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What I Do When I Fail
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The Biggest Reasons You Haven’t Changed Your Habits
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The Heartbreaking Cruelty of Comparing Yourself to Others
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7 Discipline-Mastering Practices
7 Rules That Keep My Life Simple
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The Lies Your Mind Tells You to Prevent Life Changes
How to Believe in Yourself
Don’t Waste a Moment
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How to Be Great
Making Yourself Work
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How to Master the Art of Living
The Delusional Fantasies We Live With Each Day
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How to Be Prepared for Anything
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The End of the Day Philosophy
The Painful Beauty of Impermanence
How to Change Other People
Pursuing Happiness When It’s Already Within You
The Quickstart Guide to a Decluttered Home
Parental Zen: How to Keep Your Cool as a Parent
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A Call for Revolt: Advertising is the Anti-Minimalism
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The No Procrastination Challenge
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A Father’s Manifesto: Raising Young Men Who Respect Women
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The Gift
A Guide for Young People: What to Do With Your Life
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The Letting Go Ebook, Free
The Miracle of the Self-Compassion Habit
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A Guide to Practical Compassion
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A Guide to Practical Contentment
The Practice of Work Mind & Vacation Mind, Simultaneously
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The Not Knowing Path of Being an Entrepreneur
How to Change Your Life: A User’s Guide
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How to Stick to a Habit When Life Falls Apart
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Meditation: The Most Fundamental Habit
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Advice to My Kids
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