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5.1: Of the characteristics of men and women. The reasons why women reject the addresses of men. About men who have success with women, and about women who are easily gained over

THE wives of other people may be resorted to on the occasions already described in Part I, Chapter V, of this work, but the possibility of their acquisition, their fitness for cohabitation, the danger to oneself in uniting with them, and the future effect of these unions, should first of all be examined. A man may resort to the wife of another, for the purpose of saving his own life, when he perceives that his love for her proceeds from one degree of intensity to another. These degrees are ten in number, and are distinguished by the following marks:

    Love of the eye
    Attachment of the mind
    Constant reflection
    Destruction of sleep
    Emaciation of the body
    Turning away from objects of enjoyment
    Removal of shame
    Madness
    Fainting
    Death

Ancient authors say that a man should know the disposition, truthfulness, purity, and will of a young woman, as also the intensity, or weakness of her passions, from the form of her body, and from her characteristic marks and signs. But Vatsyayana is of opinion that the forms of bodies, and the characteristic marks or signs are but erring tests of character, and that women should be judged by their conduct, by the outward expression of their thoughts, and by the movements of their bodies.

Now as a general rule Gonikaputra says that a woman falls in love with every handsome man she sees, and so does every man at the sight of a beautiful woman, but frequently they do not take any further steps, owing to various considerations. In love the following circumstances are peculiar to the woman. She loves without regard to right or wrong, and does not try to gain over a man simply for the attainment of some particular purpose. Moreover, when a man first makes up to her she naturally shrinks from him, even though she may be willing to unite herself with him. But when the attempts to gain her are repeated and renewed, she at last consents. But with a man, even though he may have begun to love, he conquers his feelings from a regard for morality and wisdom, and although his thoughts are often on the woman, he does not yield, even though an attempt be made to gain him over. He sometimes makes an attempt or effort to win the object of his affections, and having failed, he leaves her alone for the future. In the same way, when a woman is once gained, he often becomes indifferent about her. As for the saying that a man does not care for what is easily gained, and only desires a thing which cannot be obtained without difficulty, it is only a matter of talk.

The causes of a woman rejecting the addresses of a man are as follows:

    Affection for her husband
    Desire of lawful progeny
    Want of opportunity
    Anger at being addressed by the man too familiarly
    Difference in rank of life
    Want of certainty on account of the man being devoted travelling
    Thinking that the man may be attached to some other person
    Fear of the man's not keeping his intentions secret
    Thinking that the man is too devoted to his friends, and has too great a regard for them
    The apprehension that he is not in earnest
    Bashfulness on account of his being an illustrious man
    Fear on account of his being powerful, or possessed of too impetuous passion, in the case of the deer woman
    Bashfulness on account of his being too clever
    The thought of having once lived with him on friendly terms only
    Contempt of his want of knowledge of the world
    Distrust of his low character
    Disgust at his want of perception of her love for him
    In the case of an elephant woman, the thought that he is a hare man, or a man of weak passion
    Compassion lest anything should befall him on account of his passion
    Despair at her own imperfections
    Fear of discovery
    Disillusion at seeing his grey hair or shabby appearance
    Fear that he may be employed by her husband to test her chastity
    The thought that he has too much regard for morality

Whichever of the above causes a man may detect, he should endeavour to remove it from the very beginning. Thus, the bashfulness that may arise from his greatness or his ability, he should remove by showing his great love and affection for her. The difficulty of the want of opportunity, or of his inaccessibility, he should remove by showing her some easy way of access. The excessive respect entertained by the woman for him should be removed by making himself very familiar. The difficulties that arise from his being thought a low character he should remove by showing his valour and his wisdom; those that come from neglect by extra attention; and those that arise from fear by giving her proper encouragement.

The following are the men who generally obtain success with women:

    Men well versed in the science of love
    Men skilled in telling stories
    Men acquainted with women from their childhood Men
    who have secured their confidence
    Men who send presents to them
    Men who talk well
    Men who do things that they like
    Men who have not loved other women previously
    Men who act as messengers
    Men who know their weak points
    Men who are desired by good women
    Men who are united with their female friends
    Men who are good looking
    Men who have been brought up with them
    Men who are their neighbours
    Men who are devoted to sexual pleasures, even though these be with their own servants
    The lovers of the daughters of their nurse
    Men who have been lately married
    Men who like picnics and pleasure parties
    Men who are liberal
    Men who are celebrated for being very strong (Bull men)
    Enterprising and brave men
    Men who surpass their husbands in learning and good looks, in good qualities, and in liberality
    Men whose dress and manner of living are magnificent

The following are the women who are easily gained over:

    Women who stand at the doors of their houses
    Women who are always looking out on the street
    Women who sit conversing in their neighbour's house
    A woman who is always staring at you
    A female messenger
    A woman who looks sideways at you
    A woman whose husband has taken another wife without any just cause
    A woman who hates her husband, or who is hated by him
    A woman who has nobody to look after her, or keep her in check
    A woman who has not had any children
    A woman whose family or caste is not well known
    A woman whose children are dead
    A woman who is very fond of society
    A woman who is apparently very affectionate with her husband
    The wife of an actor
    A widow
    A poor woman
    A woman fond of enjoyments
    The wife of a man with many younger brothers
    A vain woman
    A woman whose husband is inferior to her in rank or abilities
    A woman who is proud of her skill in the arts
    A woman disturbed in mind by the folly of her husband
    A woman who has been married in her infancy to a rich man, and not liking him when she grows up, desires a man possessing a disposition, talents, and wisdom suitable to her own tastes.
    A woman who is slighted by her husband without any cause
    A woman who is not respected by other women of the same rank or beauty as herself
    A woman whose husband is devoted to travelling
    The wife of a jeweller
    A jealous woman
    A covetous woman
    An immoral woman
    A barren woman
    A lazy woman
    A cowardly woman
    A humpbacked woman
    A dwarfish woman
    A deformed woman
    A vulgar woman
    An ill-smelling woman
    A sick woman
    An old woman

There are also two verses on the subject as follows:

'Desire, which springs from nature, and which is increased by art, and from which all danger is taken away by wisdom, becomes firm and secure. A clever man, depending on his own ability, and observing carefully the ideas and thoughts of women, and removing the causes of their turning away from men, is generally successful with them.'

Kama Sutra Of Vatsayana

Vātsyāyana
Chapters
Kama Sutra
Part I
1.1: Preface
1.2 : On the acquisition of Dharma, Artha and Kama
1.3 : On the Arts and Sciences to be studied
1.4 : The Life of a Citizen
1.5 : About the kinds of women resorted to by the citizens, and of friends and messengers
Part II
2.1: Kinds of sexual union according to dimensions, force of desire or passion, time
2.2 : of the Embrace
2.3 : On Kissing
2.4 : On Pressing, or Marking, or Scratching with the Nails
2.5: On Biting, and the means to be employed with regard to women of different countries
2.6 : On the different ways of lying down, and various kinds of congress
2.7 : Of the various modes of striking, and of the sounds appropriate to them
2.8 : About Women acting the part of a Man; and the work of a Man
2.9: Of the Auparishtaka or Mouth Congress
2.10: How to begin and end the congress, Kinds of congress & Love Quarrels
Part III
3.1: On Marriage
3.2 : For creating confidence in the girl
3.3 : Of Courtship and the showing feelings by outwards signs and deeds
3.4 : Things to do for winning partner
3.5 : On certain forms of marriage
Part IV
4.1: On the manner of living of a virtuous woman, and of her behaviour during the absence of her husband
4.2: On the conduct among wives of a husband; Conduct of a re-married virgin woman; Of a wife disliked by her husband; Of the women in the king's Harem; And on conduct of husband towards many wives.
5.1: Of the characteristics of men and women. The reasons why women reject the addresses of men. About men who have success with women, and about women who are easily gained over
5.2: About making acquaintance with the woman, and of the efforts to gain her over
5.3: Examination of the state of a woman's mind
5.4: About the business of a Go-Between
5.5: About the love of persons in authority for the wives of other men
5.6: About the women of the royal harem; and of the keeping of ones own wife
Part VI
6 Introduction: About Courtesans
6.1: Of the causes of Courtesan resorting to men
6.2: Of living like a wife
6.3: Of the means of geting money, of the signs of the change in lover's feelings, and of the way to get rid of him
6.4: About reunion with former lover
6.5: Of different kinds of gain
6.6: Of gains and losses; Different kinds of courtesans etc.
Part VII
7.1: On personal adornment; On subjugating the hearts of others; And on tonic medicines
7.2: Of the ways of exciting desire; experiments and recipes
Conclusive Remarks on Kama Sutra